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dealing with toddler tantrums can be extremely stressful, inevitably toddler tantrums always start at the most inopportune moment, usually in full public view of strangers in supermarkets or similar.

There is a good aspect of this in that another milestone has been reached and your little baby is developing into a "little person" albeit with attitude for the time being !

One of the more negative aspects of toddler tantrums is the embarrassment factor, nothing is more embarrassing than the gaze of what seems like 100s of people judging you as a bad parent, but remember every parent goes through it and all those who are judging you are simply not parents themselves.

Some children tantrum regularly once they hit a magic age aka Terrible Twos and others might have only occasional ones but there are no hard and fast rules. Tantrums are simply a stage of development that they WILL grow out of.

Why do Tantrums Occur ?
Toddlers tantrum are commonly thought to be caused by a bottling up and eventually outpouring of frustration due to not being able to communicate their thoughts properly, however from experience tantrums do suddenly appear out of nowhere when your toddler is exhausted or want some attention.

If any big events in your family life are taking place these can also spark off a tantrum such as a new baby appearing on the scene.

Reducing the number of tantrums

Many times toddler tantrums may be avoided by following some simple processes:

Listening
Your toddler may seem to chitter chatter and in the heat of the moment when you are busy such as in a supermarket you may not be listening properly to them, they may be trying to explain something or ask for something and because they can't make you understand they get frustrated and this eventually boils over into a full scale tantrum.

Rewards
If you toddler does something good then reward them, this can be in the form of praise or giving them a new toy etc. Conversely if your toddler does tantrum in order to have something then do not give in to this and give them it as this effectively rewards them for their tantrum and therefore you are teaching them to tantrum to get what they desire. If your toddler does tantrum then once they have calmed down give them a hug and placate them. Don't let your toddler feel rewarded or punished if they have a tantrum.

Diversions
The best tried and tested way to "sometimes" avoid a toddler tantrum is to divert their attention on to something else before they are too far gone.
If your toddler tantrums at the same point in the day or at the same location then try to avoid them, or alternatively if for instance a certain supermarket aisle triggers a tantrum and it cannot be avoided then give them something to hold (a favourite toy for instance) and don't linger longer than necessary.

What to do if your toddler tantrums ?
Firstly and most importantly stay calm !
This may sound obvious but it is amazingly hard sometimes especially if this is a very public outburst and you can feel the gaze of others on you and your toddler. The more tense you get the more your toddler will pick up on this and believe the tantrum might get them the desired result

Don't get into an argument with your child, whilst they are having a tantrum they can be
unreachable.

Some toddlers hate being restrained during a tantrum and can actually cause physical harm to you or them if you try and hold them against their will. So if physically possible i.e. in the safety of the home etc then simply remove anything breakable from the vicinity. Keep them out of harms way of anything dangerous as during a tantrum they do sometimes lose control over their behaviour totally !

Carry on regardless - continue doing whatever you were doing before the tantrum but keep an eye out for any possible issues whilst doing so. By taking away the carrot i.e. the "attention" your child may come round from their tantrum faster.

Got anything to add on our toddler tantrums article ? Post a comment below.

Posted by daveb on Monday, October 20, 2008 (09:16:16) (291 reads) [ Administration ]